Archive for November, 2009

A wedding!
November 17, 2009

Who reviews a wedding in a blog?

We do.

One of Sam’s friends got married in a movie theater, and well, when he needs someone to go to a wedding, someone who can have fun anywhere and make him look like an 8 instead of a 6, he takes Nina. So that’s what we did.

Seriously, this was the shortest wedding service ever. Under 5 minutes. Seriously. All weddings should follow this.

Also, all weddings should follow this: they had cheese, wedding soup and the bar…all before the people were there. Even better – pepperoni cheese. Pepperoni inside the cheese. You would be amazed at how many people have never tried this. We have. Many times.

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The food was good. It was inside a Greek church. How could it not be? We started with a salad with a great dressing, kind of a sweet Italian. Very nice. Some rolls. Then a nice mix of stuffed chicken and a meat in gravy that was super nice. Hahaha a review of a wedding is ridiculous, because unless you have a time machine, you could not go to this wedding. And then you’d need an invitation. It seems like a lot of work, so you should just read this review.

The best part? The fact that Nina requested EU’s “The Butt” so I would dance with her?

No. The biggest cookie table ever.

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Not since the Elks lodge brought wave after wave of cakes out at an Elvis dance have Nina and I been this excited over cookies. Oh, sure, we eat a lot of sweets. But this day was special. So special they even left to go containers! Damn right we had cookies for breakfast the next day (actually, mine did not last as some of my friends had them, but I really wanted to spread the cookie love). I mean…they had a brownie layered with a rice krispie layered with a cookie.

The best summation of this day is not our usual 5 frosty beer scale. No, I will just let Nina sum it up.

By the end of the night i was high on love and cookies. They had me with pepperoni cheese, woo-ed me with wedding soup and at the end of the night, when I was all wine drunk, sealed the deal with a plethora of homemade cookies. That wedding made sweet love to my senses. hahha

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Invite us to your wedding! We’re hungry!

Rivers Casino – Pittsburgh, PA
November 16, 2009

Nina’s mom was in town (as well as her aunt and best friend), so I gave them some options of things we could do on Sunday. They chose…gambling. So we went to the new (well it’s a few months old but we are both kind of slackers that work hard so cut us some this doesn’t work with this slack) Rivers Casino during the Steelers vs. Bengals game.

You should totally go to the Casino during the game. You can watch the game on every screen on every slot machine, in the bars, on big screens, pretty much everywhere. And the casino is not crowded. At all.

Food-wise, hot dogs or kielbasa were $1 each. It wasn’t anything fancy, but Vienna Beef made them and they were tasty enough. Don’t expect a high end blow you away dog, but you know. It’s $1. That said, Coors Light was also $1 and you should be paid $4.75 to drink one. What a wretched bottle of pee water. You can always get free drinks at the casino, though, and park free during the game. In addition to being slackers who end up working a lot, we also are poor, so free drinks and $1 food and free parking and the chance to win money? Yes, every score by the Steelers gets you $5. Sold.

We noticed that slot machines are broken down into a few categories:
• Mystical – Nostradamus, magic, witches, bad omens…
• Mayan – There are a ton of 2012 influenced Mayan games. You don’t get to see the world end. You just lose money.
• Licensed – George Lucas has sold the fuck out with Indiana Jones and Star Wars. That said, Nina danced the whole time she played Star Trek, as she won money while William Shatner talked to her. I think this is something what her idea of heaven is like, if you add that she would be drinking a Ying and eating a hot dog with buffalo chicken dip on it.
• Girly – Ladybugs, southern belles, princesses, you get the picture.
• Medieval – Castles, wizards, unicorns…sometimes dangerously close to mystical or girly.

A lot of games combine these things. To give you a flavor of what it’s like to hang out with us at a casino, here is some of the conversation.

Sam: This is Enchanted Unicorn.
Nina: It’s kind of Medieval. But also kind of Girly. It’s a mix. Girly medieval.
Sam: It’s kind of Mystical as well.
Nina: Yeah. It kind of can be classified under a lot of types of slot machines.

This goes on as we go from machine to machine. Yes, we like to classify things and then discuss them. I also would like to state for the record that I did not lie that there was a Lucky Lemmings game in the casino. It was Lucky Meerkats, which I have learned is the official sequel. I lie about a lot of stuff that doesn’t matter, but this was not one of the Prince of Lies’ many lies.

Luckily, we came out ahead in money. We had the most fun on Wizard of Oz and Star Trek.

It’d be inappropriate to rate this with frosty mugs. Let’s just say it was a good day.